The Lower 31
News about any team that is not the Packers.
Chiefs Appoint Cheerleader as Interim Head Coach
In the wake of Todd Haley’s exit, the Kansas City Chiefs have hired cheerleader Jillian as interim head coach. Jillian, in her second year as cheerleader, is rapidly moving up the Chiefs corporate ladder. When asked about the move, Chairman and CEO Clark Hunt had this to say. “Once we started thinking outside the... »
Officials Determine Suh Stomping Incident Not an Isolated Case
Further investigation in the case of Ndamukong Suh’s stomping of Green Bay Packer offensive lineman Evan Dietrich-Smith has unearthed some shocking revelations about Suh’s childish antics during the Thanksgiving Day game. An undisclosed Cheese Newswire source has shared the following photos which capture Suh in similar stomping incidents throughout his tenure with the Detroit... »
Lynch “Reasonably Certain” He Will Have Another Good Run Sometime in 2011
Marshawn Lynch's 67 yard touchdown run in the Wildcard upset over the Saints last season made its way to NFL's top 20 games of 2010. Lynch commented today that it is not entirely out of the question that he has another good run sometime during the 2011 season. »
Al Davis Fires Tom Cable Out of Confusion
Amid a rash of head coach firings in the NFL, Al Davis has fired Raiders head coach Tom Cable. When asked about the move, Davis replied, "What?" »
Lions 4-0 After Big Moral Victory at Lambeau
The Detroit Lions continued their domination of the NFC North adding a fourth to their streak of moral victories. This time, the victim was the Green Bay Packers. »
Cheese Expose’: Brett Favre Admits to Padding His Stats
Minneapolis: Sordid details are coming out after the Vikings’ 10-14 loss to Miami in their home-opener. Brett Favre’s three interception, one fumble performance had a lot to do with the loss but the big news came out today when Brett Favre admitted that he threw two of those interceptions on purpose just to pad his all... »
Bears Trade Jay Cutler and First Round Draft Pick to Get Kyle Orton Back
Chicago. Just two days after their loss to the Raiders, the Chicago Bears have made a change. In the most talked about move yet this offseason, they traded Jay Cutler and their first round draft pick in 2011 to the Denver Broncos to get Kyle Orton back. “We’re excited to have Kyle Orton back... »
Jake Delhomme Retires after Successful Outing Against the Packers
A day after torching the Packers for 66 yards, Jake Delhomme has announced his retirement from the NFL. “I’ve pretty much done everything there is to do – I’ve even been to a Super Bowl – and smoking Green Bay in a preseason game was just the icing on the cake. You want to... »
Crowd Witnesses Apocalyptic Vision of Brad Childress’s Career if Brett Favre Does not Return
Thousands in the Midwest, including portions of Southwest Wisconsin witnessed what appeared to be a vision of Brad Childress’s future last Wednesday. The vision was seen by dozens of different people from different walks of life and yet the details of the stories remain consistent, leading investigators to believe this was a real event,... »