The NFL Needs an Enema
Last year the Packers treated their cheese eating fans to a great season, sensational post-season, and spectacular Super Bowl win. Unfortunately, every NFL season is followed by an NFL off-season and this year’s lockout makes the off-season particularly bad.
Nobody moves, nobody talks, nothing is happening. The NFL slumbered like the digestive tract of a sleeping tourist on a twelve hour bus ride after three plates at the all-you-can-eat cheese and instant mashed potato bar. Hey bus driver, you might as well sell off that seat in the tiny bathroom in the back of that bus because the NFL ain’t gonna need it.
Now, while I can assume that Packers fans will in no way want to limit the amount of Cheese in the NFL’s diet (the more the better we say – both literally and in reference to our favorite team playing deep into the off-season and in the Super Bowl) I think Packers fans and fans around the league can agree on one thing…the NFL needs an enema.
Then last week…something moved. Not a lot but a little and a little is more than none. When representation from the NFL including Roger Goodell and several owners got together with player representatives and met with a judge and without lawyers, it was as if the NFL had decided to closet itself up with a good magazine and get some serious business over with.
Unfortunately, whatever moved never became completely dislodged and the blockage remains…for now. We all feel like this will end sometime “There gonna play football”, we say but as time wears on and the buildup continues with no relief in sight, we are all starting to wonder, “When”.
The NFL needs an enema in the form of:
- a judgement
- an agreement that is equitable for both parties and brings football back to the fans who pay everybody’s bills
- two gallons of black tea, a half gallon of barium, a bottle of liquid Plumr, a splash of fuming sulphuric acid and (for those tough jobs) a running 18 volt DeWalt Drill.
But keep the Cheese coming!